Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Distance makes the heart...hurt!

Soooo....I just got back from my tease of a visit to Florida. I got to see my honey who was on tour for about a month (with about 1 more to go) for 2days. Needless to say NOT ENOUGH NICKY. But we make it work.

I also got to spend some quality time with the pups. Yep that's right, 17 hrs there and back, marinating in the sweet sweet juice of dog farts! I guess car rides relax them. Besides this I got to spend about .5 seconds with friends and sister Becky and I almost got in at least 2 fist fights! I didn't get in enough dancing, or delicious food. I didn't get enough of anything actually, so I am hoping next time I come I won't be spending as much time in the car as I am for the actual visit! I miss you Florida and all you gots in it!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

the one who will eat sweets

last night i had the most bizarro dream. of course it will not be relayed the same because we all know we have tried to describe the most terrifying nightmare and it winds up sounding like some fucked up children's book.

but here it goes....the location was some beautiful vacation spot, think france, or tuscany. the hotel sat near the edge of cliff but also at the bottom of a hill. at the top of this hill was a doctor's office where i went to get a boob job. i got this done and was very upset with myself. i thought i had decent boobs before but now i had giant rock hard balloons on my chest. i thought they were much too big but was proud of the fact i decided to do the procedure through my nipple as it would reduce scarring. so i went to find the doctor on the patio of the hotel. the doctor was harrison ford, who i found sitting with his legs tossed up on another chair. we argued about my boobs. he told me he knew they would look ridiculous, and he then told me the right one was leaking. so i started walking back up the hill to the office and my right boob started deflating and i felt the shriveled implant slide down to the top of my rib cage underneath my skin. i kept looking behind me to see that harrison ford was following me to fix the procedure but he wasnt, and i kept trekking up the hill while his expressionless face and crusty feet that were propped on the chair grew smaller and smaller.

i reached the doctor's office and laid myself on the the cold, metal table that was covered with a piece of butcher paper, all the while holding on to this silicone sac in my ribcage in hopes that it wouldnt slither further down. i became very anxious at the thought of dying because this boob had burst but i was even more anxious over the thought that i had ruined my original little boobs. i swung my feet off the table and jumped down, storming out of the empty building to go find harrison. as i left another cottage- like building that wasnt there before had appeared right next to the office. i looked down the hill and i could still see harrison exactly how i had left him. still staring at me. still in the same exact position with the same expressionless face as if he wasnt real at all but only a painting at the foot of the hill.

what could it hurt to take a few moments to see what was in this oddly new building.i entered the little shop and it was the most magical place i had ever seen. the craziest cakes and pies filled the shelves. there was a glass case filled with treats, one section had puff pastries covered in cinnimon that looked liked different breeds of dogs. i saw edible versions of my boston terriers baby and zeke. they looked so real, but were candied versions, glistening...and callign to me. i thought about eating them and imagined myself biting off one of their crunchy heads. i was held in place by all the amazing treats, but knew i had to get harrison ford to fix me or i might die. plus i had one big boob.... but more importantly i had to have these sweet treats....the feeling was overpowering. i wanted them all. i couldnt decide on what to get and no one was there to help me. so i waited and i never left.

im guessing what this is saying about me is that i will chose gorging on sweets than saving my own life due to a busted tit!